Teenager Megathread OR Parent's Guide to Saving Your Teen

[anton]

Parent's Guide to Saving Your Teenager

Some people may notice that teenagers growing up now are different than before. They party all night, get drunk, high, arrested, and other horrible things. Face it: they have no morals. You try to raise them to be kind and sweet, but their destructive "friends" supplying them with drugs and alcohol poison those teachings to the core. How can we protect our children you may ask? The obvious answer is to take texting off of their cell phone, and tell them it can only be used to call you or other members of your family. Be sure to limit their computer use to 1 and a half hours a week. Put a filter that only allows them to go onto websites such as the safe gaming site Yahooligans. This may be extreme, but without it, your child will be dead before graduating from high school.

Do not give your teen allowance, or allow them to get a job. With extra money they can create fake IDs or buy drugs. Be sure to only allow your teen to go with friends between the hours of 3-4pm on weekdays, and noon to 2 on weekends. This makes it harder for them to go through the complicated process of making the fake IDs or finding pornography on many virus-filled internet websites. In fact, my child spent hours of time he could of spent studying on online talking areas known as "forums". These "forums" are very odd places with big announcements called "threads" which people reply to using a coding sequence called "posts". Many of the threads are filled with swear words not even I can repeat, and massive data-bankings of pornography, both homo and heterosexual.

Throughout my experience, my son's grades deteriorated, and was caught on a school computer looking at pornography, even though his hour and a half of computer time was spent. I also found a plastic container with white dust inside of it in his lunch bag. At this point I knew his friends were supplying him with drugs. He argued with me, saying it was just salt, which I knew was a lie because I limit his sugar and salt intake to fight heart disease and obesity. I sent him to a camp known as Aspen Achievement Academy. They specialize in helping children with behavior and drug issues. After a 90 day program, he spewed lies about the wonderful camp, saying that they beat him when he said he never used drugs. The counselor assured me that most teens that return try to lie about their experience to trick you into trusting them. But this "trust" is only to distract you so they can get their drug supply.

After this, I couldn't take it. His drugs were seen as gone, but he came back with lies and lies. I called the counselor again after 2 weeks after his return. She recommended I place him in the Behavioral Enrichment Devision. She told me how in the 7 month program, all of the participants' behavior improved. I quickly signed him up. After informing him, he refused to go, repeating the same lies. I then looked online and found a Teen Escort Service. These people are like police officers who ensure the teen gets to the camp safely. In the middle of the night, we let them in, and they handcuffed and blindfolded him. They left and took him to the camp. That was 4 months ago. We are receiving weekly letters from him, with rarely a few lies, and when there are lies, the online tracker shows that disciplinary action was taken. My husband and I are happy he is doing better and are eagerly awaiting his return. So please, before you go through the horror we had to, follow our guidelines, and save your child.

cocks in my ass

[xpod1]

allow your teen to go with friends between the hours of 3-4pm on weekdays,

Doesn't school normally end at like 4 pm.

[xpod1]

Also link i want to kill the bitch


Because you know 50 bucks says there will be a killing on that street in the future.

Not by me I mean by the kid.

[anton]

I don't know I sent it to Spork-Juct in a PM awhile ago

[Ibutsu]

Some people are too stupid to deserve to continue living.

[Ithae]

This is just stupid. God DAAAMMMNNN.

Seriously though, someone needs to rethink their "rules".

[Skullbrain]

Wow. That's... That's horrible..

[DrTaxi]

I bet you people all got troll'd.

[Ithae]

"was caught on a school computer looking at pornography, even though his hour and a half of computer time was spent"

So your school computer goes into the 1hr 30min teenagers should get? What if they have a computer class??

[tyman 41]

Those rules are bull shit!
Fuck Rules!

[sirdangolot5]

I didn't believe this for one second

[RedStar]

Originally Posted by tyman 41

Those rules are bull shit!
Fuck Rules!

fuck you i wont do what you tell me

[Ibutsu]

Anarchy ftw?

[Giner]

Why am I not surprised

[Ithae]

Originally Posted by Giner

Why am I not surprised

Cause you go GaGa for Gaga

Bad pun.

[Ibutsu]

I want her bad romance.

[sirdangolot5]

this ISN'T REAL.

[HardyRetardy]

Come on, guys, there's no way this is real. The thread and post bit was obvious enough, but the confusing salt for cocaine was just silly.

Yeah... What was that one guy who talked about Lunix(sic)? This sounds like just his kind of bag.

[Demon Dog]

Put a filter that only allows them to go onto websites such as the safe gaming site Yahooligans

wat.

[xpod1]

I find that ironic really since a hooligan is an old drunk guy in Ireland who sits by the side of the road.

[xpod1]

Yes that was very specific but it's also true.

[xpod1]

Oh no wait sans the road sitting-by part

[coco911231]

As in the words of the great arnold schwarsineggar

"Between 3 and 4 pm, That is when your teenage pregnancy happens."